


when the moon has gone to bed

by PrincessReinette



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Happy ending-ish?, Hurt No Comfort, Major character death - Freeform, No suicide mentioned, Reylo - Freeform, Sad, Sort-of, kylo-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 05:53:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessReinette/pseuds/PrincessReinette
Summary: Rey is gone, and she isn't coming back.Warning for major character death.





	when the moon has gone to bed

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this with a completely different layout in mind, but Kylo sort of took over. Please read the tags; this is not a happy fic.

Rey joined Jessika in the dark before anyone really had a chance to say goodbye.

“A drunk driver,” the police said, “an accident. Low visibility. Too dark.” Kylo recognized that the officer was trying to console him as if he were his son, but Kylo did not want a stranger’s grip on his arm or words meant to explain things away.

Rey.

Rey Rey Rey Rey Rey _his Rey_ was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

He sat at her bedside clinging to her hand as it grew cold until nurses pulled him away, insisting that Rey be taken to the morgue. _The morgue,_ he thought. _A girl with no family, no money – of course she’d be taken to the morgue._

He swiped the back of his hand over his eyes, clearing away any trace of moisture, and called his mother.

\---

 

Leia knew what to do.

She always did.

The funeral was beautiful, more than Kylo could have ever expected, but he knew Rey would slap him at the cost.

He didn’t say anything.

 _Rey is gone,_ he whispered to himself, over and over. _Rey is gone, and she’s not coming back._

Jessika’s family had arranged a similar funeral at a different cemetery, where she would be buried next to her grandparents.

Leia did not ask before purchasing the plot next to her mother’s as Rey’s final resting place.

Leia always knew what to do.

\---

 

The next few weeks were a blur.

Kylo locked himself in his apartment, cursing the sterility of it. Rey had been so warm, so inviting, that he had never bothered to furnish his place beyond the essentials. He wanted her touch to be here, but he had lost that chance forever.

After two weeks his boss finally called.

“I understand,” he said. “It must be difficult,” he said.

Kylo caught the unspoken words, though, and pulled himself together for work the next day, his crisp suit as a barrier against the world.

\---

 

Finn visited, one night.

He and Kylo had never been on the best of terms, but Finn was Rey’s best friend so when he showed up unannounced at the door with a bottle of whiskey Kylo didn’t hesitate before letting him in.

Neither of them spoke a word, but they both understood each other perfectly. _Rey is gone, and she’s not coming back._

Finn left the next morning after passing out on the couch, nursing a hangover and slipped out silently.

Kylo put on his suit and went to work.

\---

 

He ignored his mother’s calls for two weeks, so he shouldn’t have been surprised when she let herself in while he was downing yet another drink. She did not like his apartment or his melancholy mood swings, but she brushed in anyway, unlocking the door with the key he couldn’t remember making for her.

They sat in silence for a long time, Leia leaning on her cane – _and when had she gotten a cane? –_ and Kylo slouching in his chair, his fourth glass of bourbon loosely gripped.

“You have to talk about this sometime,” Leia finally said, staring at him as though he were a small child once more. “She’s gone, but we’re not.”

She didn’t wait for a response. Her footsteps echoed down the hall as she left.

\---

 

He visited her grave every day after work, refreshing the flowers that had wilted the day before. The flower shop owner had learned his order quickly; they rarely spoke beyond the owner’s greeting and farewell.

The daisies looked too bright for the pale granite headstone.

 _Rey_ , it read. No birth date, no death date. Just Rey. Below her name was one word, not one Kylo had chosen, but one he was grateful his mother had ordered.

_Beloved._

\---

 

Two years later and his visits were sporadic. He still brought daisies.

The tree shading his grandparents’ graves had grown to cover Rey’s as well.

Kylo purchased the plot next to hers as a promise never to leave her.

\---

Five years found him in a new, larger office, a partner at the best law firm in the city. His mother had forced him to see a doctor for antidepressants, and his days were sometimes better than before.

He kept daisies on his desk and always answered his door when Finn or Poe knocked.

\---

 

Ten years and he was engaged.

It seemed like the right thing to do.

He didn’t know if he loved her, if he _could_ love her, but she was kind and gentle and soothed him when he woke from nightmares he would never tell her about.

They were married on his family’s estate.

Leia made sure that there were no daisies to be found.

\---

 

Thirty years after her death he had one child, a son with brown hair and hazel eyes. His boy was about to graduate college with an engineering degree, and Kylo thought Rey would be proud. He wasn’t her son, but he was Kylo’s, and anything Kylo was proud of Rey would be proud of too.

After the celebratory dinner Kylo made the ever-so-familiar drive to the flower shop, whose owner had long since passed, and bought daisies.

He didn’t believe in Heaven but as he looked up to the night sky he saw a new star winking down. For a moment he felt her warmth around him.

Kylo laid the daisies on her grave, cleared the dirt from the headstone, and left the cemetery.

He left her behind in peace, and went home to join his family.

Rey was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew. I've never actually cried while writing a fic; this was a first. I was originally going to write about her death from the viewpoint of all her friends, but once I started with Kylo I just couldn't stop. Please leave a comment!


End file.
